I tried. Really, I did. I tried to make it all the way through an episode of Gossip Girl, but my brain wouldn't allow it. It took my digestive system hostage and threatened to make me shit myself if I didn't make the stupid go away. Fearing for the safety of my favorite chair, I had no choice but to turn it off less than half way through.Luckily, the eighteen minutes that I did manage to choke down were enough to conclude that anybody who watches this show is completely fucking retarded.
It's not just that the plot of the show is essentially "Whiny rich kids, whining", it's that the writers have somehow managed to create the most thoroughly unlikable characters since Twilight (a movie which requires no less mental infirmity to enjoy than eating paste). If I ever actually met someone who acted as obnoxiously self-important and detached from reality as the characters of Gossip Girl, I'd never stop smacking them. Never.
The acting is melodramatic to a level that would embarrass a Mexican soap opera. Lines are delivered in the too-quick Gilmore Girls style, which is not only removes any sense of realism, but also gives the impression that the entire cast really just wants to get the whole thing over with. Every actor on the show seems to be limited to an emotional range that spans from "douchey entitlement" to "whiny self pity". If you were seated next to somebody who acted like this on an airplane, you'd pray for a suicide hijacking.
If everything about the show is so abysmal, then why do nearly 3 million people watch it? As it turns out, most of those people are teenagers, and teenagers are inherently retarded. Gossip Girl won six fucking categories at the 2008 Teen Choice Awards. This only goes to show that when you let incompetent fuckwits make choices, incompetent fuckwits choose Gossip Girl.
